my memories
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Today I met my former baby-sitter and her husband at Bukit Timah Plaza. It' s was wonderful to spend time with them again, especially since they have recently become christians. Later I met younger of their sons - kevin. WAAH! The last time I saw him, he was still dragging his old pillow and (sometimes full of mucus hahaz...)!! Now he's so big larh!! I couldn't even recognise him at first because he is so tan! And was he the sticky little boy who used to carry his bolster and always helped me to find my things? I have yet to meet Jeremy (RV pple probably will know him). I heard he is VERY TALL. But seriously, are these the childhood playmates I used to have? I knew them since I was in K1. Suddenly, I realise that we have all grown up!! And suddenly, I miss the times when I was small. And that reminds me, time flies. And that brings back memories. And that makes me rather sentimental. AAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!
But then, it is wonderful to know that they the whole family is now christians. 4 more souls for Christ!
And now I am convinced. People do grow up.
1:49 AM
the scent still lingers
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Well, now for the more serious side of the camp - our services!! hmm..actually they aren't really that sombre. I really like the donkey joke!! Hee Haw!! But anyway, there were 4 messages and services and altar calls in all about a JESUS REVOLUTION!Nah, we aren't gonna be troublemakers now lah..we just wanna be the christian JAE-I willing to to die for the Jesus!The first message was about what is a JESUS REVOLUTION and how to have one in your life, in 'translation' to accept Jesus Christ with all your heart, as your personal Lord and Saviour! Once you do that, you can be sure that your life will NEVER be the same again! He's gonna turn it 360 degrees upside-down!The second message was about the Holy Spirit. Before Jesus' ascension to heaven, the 12 disciples were saddened that Jesus had to leave. But Jesus told them that He was leaving so that He could send the Holy Spirit. The wonderful thing about the Holy Spirit is this: Jesus came to this earth as a human and can only be at one place at one time. The Holy Spirit on the other hand, is a spirit! The Holy Spirit will dwell in every human heart willing to receive Him!!! Wait, not only that. Once a person is filled with the Holy Spirit, the Holy Spirit is in Him, and around him! And it's forever! The Holy Spirit will never leave us!! Hallelujah!I felt that the second message had already started to thaw the hearts of many in JAEL. Unlike the first altar call, people were responding. Half of them were crying, kneeling or speaking in tongues, even the primary 6s were responding! During this altar call, I was one of those who went around with the tissues and ready to catch any person who would fall.But the third service will be one I'll never forget! This time, it was Pearl and me leading worship, (pearl was the worship leader, I was co- leader.) This was Pearl's first time leading worship in a service, and although I have sung in S.T.O.R.M. before, I was still a little unsure because normally Joy and Ivan will take lead of the songs. Long before the camp, Pearl and I were trying to find appropriate songs for the service. It was hard because we had absolutely no idea what Ps. Ken Teo would preach about. We only knew the general theme - Jesus Revolution. We prayed for 3 days about it. On the first day, Pearl received insight from God that the theme was faith in Him and His Love. We weren't really sure but we just agreed to continue praying. I prayed on and read my bible. At that time, I was starting on the Book of Matthew again. Amazingly, the first story that I started to read was the story of the JESUS FEEDING THE FIVE THOUSAND! I had not understood why the previous night, I had stopped just before that part but I know I just suddenly felt exceptionally groggy so I laid my bible down. Now here I was reading it and it was talking about FAITH! Not only was that the only answer to my prayer for a reassurance, the next few accounts after the feeding of the five thousand were all about FAITH!!!! Now we really knew what our theme was. One more thing was that the feeding of the five thousand seemed to stand out quite strongly among the rest of the accounts and parables.During this whole period, S.T.O.R.M's constant prayer was to be able to lead the whole of JAEL into God's presence, even more than before, building all of us into a strong army for God, reaching families, friends, community, society, country, region and even the WORLD! It's sounds a little too ambitious but with God, nothing is impossible! In fact, Pearl and I were praying fervently and continuously that we would be able to help the congregation, every single person, to go even nearer into God's presence. We even met 1/2 an hour before practice and service to ask God for help and guidance. During this time, we confronted our fears and committed everything to God, asking that our friends not look to us but to Him and Him alone.So service came, and we lead the worship. Songs? 1. I could sing of Your love forever 2. Sing (Your love) 3. To the ends of the earth 4. Free.Then as usual, Ps Ken came up to speak. But this message was one full of conviction. It talked about how many people are actually very insecure and over-sensitive because they have been hurt many a times. Because of this, these people go around and take many things to heart very easily - even the slightest things. They are very angry and hurt people yet sometimes, they are so used to it that they begin to 'enjoy' it. They don't want to let go. In the end, they hurt others, break up relationships with others and become really miserable. The message was full of jokes, but I couldn't bring myself to laugh at them at all! I felt so convicted because that was one of the main problems in my life and it was pin-pointed so accurately.In fact, I was so convicted that when the message was over and Pearl and I were supposed to go up and lead the song for altar call, I couldn't sing properly. When Ps Ken asked those who wanted to commit this problem to God to kneel, the whole JAEL sank to their knees at the same time! Pearl knew I couldn't sing out loud now and told me to join the congregation too. Thanks pearl! All I know is that I was very thankful and stumbled next to Chara. My knees just touched the floor and immediately, torrents of tears came pouring out. I cried ever so hard - almost 17 years worth of tears. I cried unto God and He heard me. His Holy Spirit began to work in me and I began to tremble again and really hard this time. Ps Andrew, Pearl and Ivan laid hands and prayed for me. When they prayed, I felt my body going limp and I cried even harder. Actually, as I cried, it seemed as though all the past painful memories and torments were pouring out of my soul. Finally, later, someone, I think it was Pearl, came to me and told me this, "God hears you" Those three words were one of the most beautiful words I had ever heard because He does! Almost immediately, I just toppled to my side and just lay there, still crying but now out of gratitude to God. When I got up later, I felt so light in the head that I nearly lost my balance. I was still shaking. I counted later, I used 4 sheets of tissue. Whoever gave me tissue, thank you!!! Tell me who you are...kaes?Anyway, it took me about an hour before I felt less shaky. But I knew God has already taken away my burden.The fourth service was about reaching the world and bringing along a Jesus Revolution! The last message for the camp. =( During this altar call, Ps ken prayed for the JAEL committee members. Indeed we must pray for them, and ask God to grant them wisdom on how to lead JAEL youth.Later on, several of us gathered to play and talk for the last night. We were talked about the last service. Jon and Zhou were with us - the rest of the committee members were probably FAST ASLEEP. We asked them what Ps Ken prayed for the both of them. I think they couldn't remember. But what they did remember was this! Zhou had a vision of the FIVE LOAVES AND TWO FISH. God told him he would be the 5 loaves and 2 fish.. Jon also had the same vision of the FIVE LOAVES AND TWO FISH!!! AND THE FIVE THOUSAND!! Suddenly Pearl said that I had a similar experience! She reminded me that before the camp I had read and brought up this same incident from the BIBLE!!! No wonder the feeding of the five thousand (not even the four thousand) had extra significance to me at that time!GOD IS REALLY AMAZING!You know what? I think the Feeding of the Five Thousand with the Five Loaves and Two Fish spells hope for JAEL. To me, I believe that God has heard our prayers for JAEL to grow. He knows that our prayers are earnest and He is providing us the reassurance that He will not let JAEL die out. In fact, He will use us to draw the hungry Five Thousand (symbolical) and Feed them with the Five Loaves and Two Fish!! This is really the reassurance that we need as we have been told that youth service might be cancelled permanently next year, we would only have cell group meetings. We know that without the JAEL coming together for one, it would become weak and S.T.O.R.M. would have to disperse. Yet this reassurance tells us that God will not just leave it at that! He's gonna create a JESUS REVOLUTION!!!!p.s. Anyone who recently had an encounter concerning the Feeding of the Five Thousand, please tell me asap!!!
5:26 PM
the scent still lingers
Sunday, December 18, 2005
I came back from Jael Youth Camp yesterday. The whole camp seems very very cavell-lish and dota-like so duh..the obvious person who idea formed the whole camp was cavell lah. RIGHT, CAVELL????? hahaz..nevertheless I miss the camp and my youth already. sigh..let's have a second youth camp..PRETTY PLEASE!!!!
hahaz...the games were very fun although they sometimes made us very wet. Like the game of freeze. Fantastic lah, my group jia lat lah. Do 6 times still cannot win. HAHA!! But how not to laugh, tell me? There was one time where my whole group was frozen bending down. I thought I wouldn't be able to see anyone's face and start laughing. Who knew that Ivan must purposely go bend down and go stare at me? Haiyo, once I saw Ivan's face, I started to burst with laughter. Waah, then he started teasing me, about what got something nice to look at on the floor. WHATEVER! The war game was just as funny. This time the losers were at the committee's mercy. I was a loser 3 times. BAD. Especially when Ivan told me to sing One Way in another tune. HOW TO DO THAT??? Then ar..Ps Andrew poured water on me. I was WET. So was everyone else except for some like Charis Choo and Abel. hmphh..got my revenge on abel later...HAHA!!!
What about quests? Pamper the emperor for 24 hours and get whatever money and items we need. Sounds easy? Wait till I tell you this. The emperor's an
egg. We played rough games. Truly, how did Chen Shan keep it safe for 24 hours?? Anyway, thx Chen Shan! Oh yes. Since Abel wasn't wet during the war games so I made him wet during Kanna Sai! My clan was allowed to help the committe to wet the Celtics during Kanna Sai. At first, I started to pour water on Fish but then I decided to spare her. So I poured the water on abel. I poured 3 bottles of pink paint diluted in water down his shirt. HAHA. Who asked him not to get wet earlier? Haiya..Meebe should also have wet eileen. =D
Well we played captain's ball. It was fun and much rougher than when I play captain's ball with crescentians. Of course messy too. Imagine playing captain's ball with tomatoes! Seriously, whose idea was that?
7:42 PM
the scent still lingers
Monday, December 12, 2005
I had S.T.O.R.M. practice today!I love S.T.O.R.M. and I love Jesus better because without Jesus, where would we find songs to sing to Him???? I think this practice was much better than the previous one because everyone was much more prepared. But anyway, my point of this entry is to talk about our short prayer session before we left audi 2. I think there were about 7 of us and each of us prayed a prayer for the camp and the services. During this time that we prayed, we started speaking quietly speaking in tongues and praying aloud in english. By the time it reached the third or fourth person, I realised that I was actually shaking! Not uncontrollably but still it was quite strong. It wasn't because I was cold or anything - the aircon was already off. When I got up, I was still shaking. I really praise the Lord because this is a sign of the manifestation of the Holy Spirit! I mean, I just knew it was. It was really wonderful. All this while, I have been asking the Lord for an assurance that I have been baptised by the Holy Spirit (which occurred in Feb this year) and He answered it! I know that I have the Holy Spirit in me and He will never leave me! I am so glad! In fact, now I realise that one doesn't always have to be high or whatever to start to speak in tongues or even feel the Holy Spirit. It just needs earnestness and concentration on the Lord. God sees your heart. HALLELUJAH!
10:03 PM
the scent still lingers
Sunday, December 11, 2005
If I ever go Orissa (india) for next year's mission trip, I think I will probably cry my heart out everyday. Ahem. No, it would not be due to homesickness. Rather, it'll probably be because of the poverty in the world. Once again, no. I am not going to wish for
"World Peace" like Miss Congeniality. It's just really heart-wrenching to know how the poor really struggle to survive.
My dad just returned from his business trip in Bombay with much things to say - including how the camera battery went flat when he reached the most interesting place a city tour.. HAI YO! CHARGE THE BATTERY LAH!!! =D
This was one of the incidents he told us about. He was at this place called the Gateway of India. There were alot of poor people standing around watching him and his colleagues as they went admiring the stone wall (is it?). Of course a few tried to ask for money, but common sense says don't give anything because give something of value to one person, the rest will swarm around you just like bees swarm around the honey comb. When he was leaving the place, he suddenly realised he was being tailed by a little child, one who has probably just learnt to totter. Chased he called it, my dad tried to move away from this child but the child wouldn't give up! Then, my dad realised what the child was after - his 2/3 filled mineral water bottle! My dad felt that it was quite stupid to hold back a bottle of water so he gave it to the little child. Once the little child got it, he or she (he doesn't remember), immediately zoomed back happily to his or her mother to present the bottle.
When I heard this, I heart really broke for this little child. I mean, a child in India can be actually so please when only receiving a water bottle which has been drunk from while anyone of us might be throwing away a bottle of water, thinking that we can afford another bottle. Needless to say, if I hadn't been in public, I would have cried.
Imagine what I would do if I go to Orissa. (If I am allowed to, but argh..I'm not)
Come to think of it, I shall relate another sad story, from my previous lit teacher. During one of her visits to another country where poverty is rampant, she noticed that there were many young children, some of them actually lame or have some physical disabilties all begging for money. As much as she was so sorely tempted to give them something, she knew she could not. Why? Many of these children, she was told, were actually working for the syndicates. What happened was that these children were forced to beg money from tourists. Whatever money they collected was not for themselves to keep. Instead, this money is taken away by the syndicates and the children are given only a meagre portion of money. They practically receive
peanuts! Sometimes, in order to gain the tourists' sympathy and even more money, the syndicates will maim them on purpose. The pain the little ones go through! And WAIT. These syndicates are
RICH.So you tell me, how can I not shed tears?
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10:20 PM
the scent still lingers
Friday, December 09, 2005
WARM UPS!!
Finally! I did warmups! YAY! How many months has it been since I last warmed up? Or ran and sang properly for that matter. My slackness sure has taken its toil on me! I did my stretching this morning and found myself painful all over and toppling over too. I didn't even sweat and that isn't good - it means I am not breathing properly! So I did some skipping. Haiyo..really ah!! Cannot slack already ar..now I can't even pitch my high notes right!!! Must practice everyday!!
12:07 PM
the scent still lingers
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Oh no! Lynette has gotten me started on neopets. Now I am playing it again. hA. Long time since I have played it ar. Quite fun now but I think after a while I am gonna just neglect my poor pet..AWWW SO SAD.
NO NO NO NO NO. I dun wanna get stuck on this game!
4:01 PM
the scent still lingers
Sunday, December 04, 2005
I think it's appreciation time! =)
I'll start with my school friends.
3g3/04 \4g3/05
My class. I have come to love your antics. Well, it used to drive me up the wall but come to think of it, they always make me laugh. Think about how last minute we always are and interestingly how we can produce results that are beyond expectations. (I hope it is the same for all our O level subjects) Include Liting hilarious giggling and Sham's infectious HAA..HAHA!ing and all the teasing our teachers receive. It makes our class the class. Never can I forget a class like 4g3. NEVER.
Special note to Lynette, Natania and Dawn: Heys! Thx for being my sisters-in-Christ! I am really grateful that I have found you three. You know, you three were an answer to my prayer to find the Christian community in school. Now that I have found you, I am really reluctant to let go but I guess the time has come for us to separate so tada! Keep on loving God!
Crescent Choir (sop 1s)
Heys darlings. [Other people, don't laugh. That's really what I call them.] I miss all of you. Remember the good times we had together? Ever-laughing and joking. But I do hope that during my term all of you did learn something besides laughing more during choir. You are sweet girls, each one of you. You really did add alot of colour to my life in Sec 3 and 4. Yet sometimes, all of you really exasperated me. I think all of you truly need to work much much harder. Push yourself when singing, don't depend on others. And make sure that you put in your best shot everytime you sing a song, be it for fun or not. You need your soul and body to sing. You all should understand this right? (if not ar..I will come back and barbeque you!) Don't make Miss Tham, Mr Tay and your SLs angry hor. Then I will really come after you. Miss Tham and Mr Tay and my choir teachers
To my 2 conductors, I have learnt so much about singing in these 2 years with you and I am really grateful for it. I have come to enjoy the practices so much that I don't want to leave crescent choir! =D But I have to. Aha! But that's not the last of me! I'm gonna go back for some practices too!!!! p.s. I would really love to join SYC. if I am can meet the standard enough. haha..CAN MISS THAM??
My school teachers Thank you for all you have done for me! All of you are always the most supportive and dedicated in teaching me. Although sometimes I do not fair well in class, you all willing to give me the stuff I need to get me the grades. I seriously hope that I do get the grades in Os!
9:24 PM
the scent still lingers