my memories
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
hippocrasy
the whole bunch of you
so much for being friends
so much for being leaders
weren't you taught that actions speaks louder than words?
you prove to be nothing of what you should be
you all have made me disillusioned
turned me away from the One
my stumbling blocks
and all you all can ask is how are you??
right.
to say i'm fine is a lie
to say i'm not fine is asking for pity
i want to do neither
so i'll ignore you
or else face my wrath.
don't come near me or i'll scream. stop being so spiritualget down to earthGod isn't just there to give you some floaty happy fluffy substanceless experience
maybe psalms could understand my anger
loneliness, frustration
perhaps king david felt the same way i did
i need someone who truly can empathise with me
not sympathise or pity
that is my pride, my arrogance
and one of my many flaws
i'm terribly flawed
is there no end to my mistakes, my blunders, my shortcomings?
do i have nothing that i'm good in?
why should anyone anyway value me?
or want me?
who cares?
don't tell me God cares
because you all don't truly care
you all are just saying things to make yourself feel better
so what's the meaning of life?
don't tell me some rot about the 5 purposes
i've heard that too many times, everything is cliche
i've heard so much that you all say
about some saccharine sweet so-called lesson or understanding of God
shallow
do you understand?
shallow
i've heard enough of cliches
i need something fresh
i know God is beyond these cliches
don't tell me otherwise
so why?
disillusioned
5:31 PM
the scent still lingers